CS has no lack of know-it-alls, and I felt this interpretation of LCD Soundsystem's
``Losing My Edge'' was a funny take on that. The original lyrics convey the typical
``pissing match'' that occurs in music scenes, and thought it could be applied just
as humorously to CS. Remember that this is all in fun, and any names mentioned
here are purely for ``staying in character''. Enjoy! :D
-Nick


Yeah, I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge.
The kids are coming up from behind.
I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge to the kids from INRIA and from Cambridge.
But I was there.

I was there in 1900.
I was there at the Paris International Congress of Mathematicians.
I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge to the kids whose footsteps I hear when they get on the decks.
I'm losing my edge to the Internet seekers who can tell me every theorem of every good logician from 1962 to 1978.
I'm losing my edge.

To all the kids in Tokyo and Berlin.
I'm losing my edge to the math-school Bostonites in little jackets and borrowed
nostalgia for the unremembered eighties.

But I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge, but I was there.
I was there.
But I was there.

I'm losing my edge.
I'm losing my edge.
I can hear the footsteps every night on the decks.
But I was there.
I was there in 1965 with Jack Edmonds at NIST.
I was working on lower bounds with much patience.
I was there when Stephen Cook started on NP-Completeness.
I told him, "Don't do it that way. You'll never prove a thing."
I was there.
I was the first guy showing the Probabilistic Method to the CS kids.
I demonstrated it at UIUC.
Everybody thought I was crazy.
We all know.
I was there.
I was there.
I've never been wrong.

I used to work in IBM research.
I had everything before anyone.
I was there in the Princeton Department with Robert Sedgewick.
I was there in user groups during the great PCP theorem.
I woke up confused during the commencement speech at STOC in 1988.

But I'm losing my edge to better-minded people with better ideas and more talent.
And they're actually really, really nice.

I'm losing my edge.

I heard you have a compilation of every good proof ever done by anybody. Every great proof
by Kurt Godel. All the unpublished works. All the Stephen Kleene papers. I heard you
have a copy of every Hilbert publication in German. I heard that you have a white
paper of every seminal DIMACS talk - 1985, '86, '87. I heard that you have a CD
compilation of every good '60s recursion theory paper and another book from the '70s.

I hear you're studying circuits and decision trees and are throwing your Turing Machine ideas
out the window because you want to make something real. You want to make a Razborov proof.

I hear that you and your CS students have ditched TMs and found quantum physics.
I hear that you and your Physics students have ditched quantum physics and found Quantum TMs.

I hear everybody that you know is more relevant than everybody that I know.

But have you seen my references?
Vijay Vazirani, Noam Nisan, Luca Trevisan, Scott Aaronson, David Eppstein,
Ken Regan, Christos Papdimitiou, Noga Alon, Stasys Jukna, Ravi Boppana, Neil Immerman,
Johan Hastad, Subhash Khot, Boaz Barak, Russell Impagliazzo, John Preskill, Umesh Vazirani,
Leonid Levin, Laszlo Babai, Sanjeev Arora, Lance Fortnow, Richard Karp.

Alexander Razborov, Michael Sipser, and Claude Shannon,
Volker Strassen, Ryan Williams.

Jeff Erickson, Suresh Venkatasubramanian, Gil Kalai, John von Neumann, Leslie Valiant,
Juris Hartmanis, Jeffrey Ullman, Richard! J! Lipton!, Laszlo Lovasz, Virginia Vassilevska Williams,
Bill Gasarch and his Ramsey theory, Nick Pippenger, Robert Sedgewick, my advisors,
my advisors, my advisors, my advisors.